A custody fight over a child or children is often the ultimate weapon that a father will use against his wife. But, it is more than that. It is really a terror weapon and, even if unfairly used, some mothers are ready to surrender all or some of their rights and entitlements. The surrender by a mother escalates in proportion to the reality behind the threat by the father. In this tragedy, both parents lose. The mother sometimes, hopefully rarely, tries to cut a father out of a child’s life or at least alienate the child from the father so that the relationship is undermined and even ordinary visitations become poisoned. In such cases, the father, even if he is successful, also loses by ending up with a damaged child. This is a game with two losers – a mother and father – and, to some degree, the child. When a child is the battleground, the studies show the damage lasts the rest of his or her life. Children as adults never, ever forget when they were involved in a custody case.
Adoption is a process whereby the court’s imprimatur of approval is placed on the relationship between one or two people non-related by birth to a child, thus instantly making the child part of a new family. Adoption against the wishes of the natural/organic or the DNA-proved parent or parents is often a hopeless battle and requires the most possible sophistication and expertise of lawyers.